well i have come to the realization(yet again) that no one is ever going to be so adamant about oneself but oneself. getting some hopes up for something i have not done in forever...but i dont care...im not stopping now...still searching for work...but i have faith something will come for one of us soon...
being that, it seems i am only writing to myself(again) i will write articles in mass production..send them wherever or whoever has an editor...whether they wipe their bums with it later, thats up to them..
what is up to me is focusing on my house, my family, and keeping myself sane...
due to my seizure history i do have to take meds...but i dont want to for the rest of my life..but sometimes(more than not)others numb out this crazy mess i have going on in the filing cabinets in my head...
cant i just hit delete somewhere...no, i take that back...seizures did enough deletion...
not going to be in a funk...i cant allow it...i have kids who depend on mommie...
and i am their rock, and i dont want to end up just being a pile of sand to them...
starting to feel the bad dissipate...or at least stop stressing out over the littlist of things...i have made peace that i will never have a maid...i have to be one for the next at least 15 years or so...am going back to skool...maybe i will learn to writes good...
im not sorry about being 35, having two children, being married, loving to write about music, tattoos and piercings...i am sorry that i let people bring me down..
no sir or ma'am cant have it..wow it took 9 months out of this year to figure that out...i couldve birthed another one..or 2 by now...no worries...snipped, burned or whatever the hell they do to your tubes nowadays...
i should return to writing a blog but then i really dont want to refer promo people to a lot of nothing, then an article, blah blah, article..you know..
but such is life...this is helsmusic...these words make music in my head...there
:)
